The Bunny Who Liked Beer
Peter Cottontail was not your average rabbit. While his siblings munched on carrots and clover in the community garden, Peter had developed a rather unusual taste for craft IPAs. Nobody knew exactly how it started—perhaps it was that time he accidentally licked some spilled beer at the annual neighborhood cookout—but now, at three years old, Peter was what you might call a "hoppy" bunny. On Fridays, Peter would wait until his owner Sarah left for yoga class, then squeeze through the pet door and make his way downtown. His destination: The Fuzzy Duck, a dive bar where the bartenders had long since accepted their furry patron. "Look who's here," announced Mike, the bartender, as Peter hopped onto his usual stool. "The usual, little buddy?" Peter twitched his nose twice—his standard signal for "yes." The system wasn't exactly bar scriptted etiquette, but it worked. Mike slid a tiny saucer of pale ale across the counter. "Take it easy tonight, Pete. Remember what happened last time." Last time, Peter had consumed three saucers and attempted to challenge a German Shepherd to a game of pool. It hadn't ended well. As Peter enjoyed his brew, a woman at the end of the barr couldn't stop staring. "Is that... a rabbit? Drinking beer?" she asked incredulously. "That's Peter," Mike shrugged. "He tips well." Around midnight, Peter decided it was time to head home. He hopped—somewhat crookedly—back to Sarah's apartment and squeezed through the pet door. To his horror, Sarah was in the kichen, making a late-night snack. "Peter! Where have you been?" she exclaimed, noticing bits of peanut shell stuck to his fur. "And why do you smell like... beer?" Peter froze, eyes wide. Think fast, he told himself. He hopped to his water bowl, sniffed it dramatically, then looked up at Sarah with an expression that clearly said, "My water's gone bad. Had to find hydration elsewhere. Not my fault." Sarah laughed and shook her head. "You're the weirdest pet I've ever had." If only she knew about his plans to try whiskey next weekend.
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